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ELITISM and HOUSING

“Elitist,” cries McCain
To the Obama snob.
“You Shakespeare-reading thane;
“You nerdy kish-kabob!”

“ ‘Arugula!’ ” demands
“Your fancy appetite.
“With outstretched-pinky hands,
“You’re really quite a sight.”

“With San Francisco’s rich,
“You put down grass-roots folk.
“They’re just part of your kitsch—
“A snooty salon joke!”

“You tread the Ivy Halls.
“With Harvard’s Law Review,
“You create C.V.* balls
“With melanin true-blue.

“Oh, how you love to lord
“It over those of us
“Whom literature has bored,
“Who would much rather cuss.

“The latés that you drink,
“You do only for show--
“As though you never stink—
“We know you’ve had your ‘blow’.”

“And, what’s with those large crowds?
“They faint and carry on.
“The whoops, the screams, the howls!
“How shamelessly they fawn!”

“Go, travel,” did I goad.
“You called my taunting dare,
“With ret’nue took to road
“And did a Mideast prayer.”

“But, there in old Berlin,
“You really were too much.
“A quarter million thin
“Berliners—what a touch!”

“You unimpressed the French,
“Did schmooze with Sarkozy,
“Ignored the put-on stench,
“Then, to Great Brit did flee.”

“In London, you did wow
“The remnants of empire.
“You dared to show them how
“Real royalty stands higher.”

“So, back at home again,
“Your ego all ablaze,
“You thought my back would bend;
“You did not me amaze.”

“I used your glowing fame
“As best my vantage fit.
“I took your neon name.
“Heaped ridicule on it.”

“Then, Carl Rovian types
“Convinced me to get mean.
“You needed baby-wipes
“In order to get clean.”

“But, just as I began
“To really start to roll,
“Some ass-hole of a man
“Proposed a question bold”:


“The crux of his snide quest
“Just left my mouth agape.
“I never would have guessed
“They’d pose this one on tape.”

“ ‘How many houses do
“ ‘You own, Mister McCain?’
“I really never knew.
“The question is inane.”

“What difference does it make?
“A body, as we know,
“Can only one place take
“And only one place go.”

“But, if it’s all the rage,
“So there’ll be no remorse,
“I’ll just put out a page.
“They’ll call you, in due course.”

*Curriculum Vitae