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DO NOT PISS OFF SANTA CLAUSE!!!!

The Christmas Eve massacre-arson-suicide, perpetrated by a a Santa-clad lad of 45 (NOT calibre), is but the latest in a long series of such Americana tragedies, from Columbine to Christmastime.

The National Rifle Association (NRA) and Charlton Heston have a death grip on keeping guns well in distribution throughout the United States. They can now mark upon their cave walls the umpteenth chapter of the sordid and bloody tale their disproportionate political influence has allowed to be written. It all began with the 2nd Amendment of the Constitution.

The colonists had just managed, by the skin of their teeth, to outlast the mother-country in a long, drawn-out, seditious revolt that could have cost them the gallows. After signing a set of laws by which they were all to abide, it was pointed out that they had omitted certain guarantees of individual freedoms. They decided to correct that with ten specific amendments, called the “Bill of Rights.” The new nation’s leaders had learned how difficult it was to assemble an army with the potential recruits spread out in farms and villages throughout thirteen colonies. Not knowing if or when England would mount a counter attack, they wanted to remain on the alert. Therefore, at that time and under those circumstances, in one of the amendments they stated that fact, adding that the ownership of muskets by citizens would be allowed: “A well regulated militia, being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms, shall not be infringed.”

With the many varieties of automation, calibre and potency of the rounds of today’s firearms, some personal collections allowed under that amendment could outfit a small army. Is that what the Founders had in mind? In judicial venues all over the country, including the supreme court, the NRA lawyers so far have tugged, twisted and teased those twenty-seven words to make them apply to just about anything that spits fire. With their unstinting influence on the extreme right side of the political spectrum, so far they have maintained. The courts have gone along, bending right or left according to the political pulse.

Obviously, because of the anachronistic nature of the amendment, it will take another amendment to the Constitution to make it applicable to the 21st century—provided there are still enough of us around to vote thereon. In the meantime, we will just have to trust that those whom we piss off will have the fortitude to restrain themselves from wreaking vengeance via their own, personal fit of pique.

By the way, it appears as though “Santa Baby,” on his way out, decided to take along his temptress Eartha Kitt. Uskadara, Eartha!