Rants Log-in | Search Rants | Account Info

A PRESIDENTIAL ADDRESS

of

SUMMA GRAVITAS

Peeps and Creeps:

The subject of this address is presidential vacations – particularly mine! Prior to the Information Age, where or when a president’s vacationed was partly determined by his lines of communication, they were of little political consequence, if any. Since the advent of the Red Phone hotline and the Football, regardless of time and place, the president is never out of touch. This fact should make presidential vacations inconsequential, politically or otherwise. But, NO! --  all of a sudden, I am caught up in a partisan pot de feu  of optics and insensitivity to the national plight!

One little word about that word, “vacation”: It does not exist for me! Not only do I NOT have a vacation, I can’t even BUY a time-out! Remember that 3 a.m. telephone call? Even though I am at a cook-out on the White House lawn, I must respond immediately to the sky falling anywhere over this damned planet. Although, I must say, I am not quite as restrained as was LBJ. Remember the tales of his barking out telephonic and direct orders whilst proudly ensconced upon the other-than-presidential throne?

Therefore, dear peeps and damned creeps, leave me the ef alone! Stay out of my em-effing face! It seems I can’t do enough for y’all. It wasn’t my idea to piss away a trillion benjamins (samolians, to you of yesteryear). There was no lack of employment for Blackwater (excuse me – “Xe”  -- r-i-i-i-ght!) and other uncounted/unaccounted for contractors who stand in for a politically undersized military force in the Middle East. The Filipinos and other Third Wolders (yeah, I know: “Developing Nationers”) brought in to accomplish the construction that will ensure our permanent presence in Iraq, certainly were kept busy over the past seven years. Of course, the trillion can be recouped – not the 4.4 thousand of our own souls and the tens of thousands of others sacrificed in this exercise of empty, pig-headed stupidity. Can’t you damned fools understand that, with the bulk of our attention, our human and monetary treasure concentrated in the Middle East for most of a decade, is the cause of our present, (not so) dire situation?

Of course, I know

I asked for this job.

That it would blow –

Well, no sirree, Bob.

But, still I try

To hold down the base

‘Til it’s all “ fly.”

So, give me some space!

Peace, out.