COMPLETED WORKS

HAMHOCKS AND THE THREE CARE BEARS

by Curtis W. Long

Once upon a time, there dwelt within a forest of cherry trees an anti-gluttony cult called the United Satiety Abnegation (USA). The leader of the cult was the papa care bear. He lived with the mama care bear and daughter care bear in a big white house that was provided by the cult. In return for the care provided them by the cult, the care bears cared for their neighbors' education, health and welfare. In other words the papa care bear felt their pain.

The one dominant tenet of the community was its irrevocable resistance to overindulgence. To stem the leader's proclivity in that regard, the community provided his family with all its meals. The community's persistent consternation was that in the surrounding woods there lived a glutinous creature called Hamhocks that was always on the prowl.

One day, lunch was brought over to the white house. The care bears were not hungry right away, so they decided to take a stroll in the nearby rose garden. While they were gone, Hamhocks stole into the house and gobbled up the whole meal. She then felt sleepy and looked for a place to take a nap. She tried the daughter care bear's bed, but it was too small to hold her bloated frame. She bounced on the mama care bear's bed and almost broke it. Then she went to the master bedroom and found that the king-size bed there was just right.

When the care bears returned they were dismayed at the mess caused by Hamhocks, and surmised that she must still be there. Daughter care bear checked her room and found that her bed had been slept in. Mama care bear did the same. Papa care bear told them that Hamhocks must be in the master bedroom, and for safety's sake they should go back to the rose garden while he summoned the Forrest Bureau on Intrusions (FBI). He did not call, but immediately entered the master bedroom.

After some time the other care bears became concerned and returned to the white house. The neighbors were there, taking away the lunch things. They had not seen papa care bear. After learning what had happened, they all cautiously approached the door of the maser bedroom. Flinging the door open, they caught papa care bear shamelessly feeding the glutinous Hamhocks food that he had stashed away!

Mama care bear, daughter care bear and the others were horrified. They screamed at papa care bear, "How could you betray us like this after all we do for you?" Papa care bear sheepishly replied, "But y'all always knew how much I cared for the underHog!"