COMPLETED WORKS

AMERICANS ARE ADEPT AT KICKING PIGMENTED BUTT

by Curtis W. Long

I heard a talk-show caller lamenting the fact that his friend, an Indian Sikh convenience-store owner in Texas, had removed his turban, cut his hair and shaved off his beard. The caller went on to say that, since the man knew Spanish, he is attempting to pass himself off as a Mexican. (Comments below will reveal that this was not necessarily the wisest of moves.)

Considering this incident, along with the fate of other, less resourceful Middle Easterners since 911, I have concluded that these folks should not be surprised at the treatment they are receiving. Don't they know the real story of the United States, as opposed to its truncated, jingoistic, schoolbook history? Americans have turned the kicking of non-white butt into an art form. In apartheid America, black Americans would have been only too happy to seek equal treatment by merely resorting to a shave and a haircut!

The people of color from other lands who come to the United States and are surprised by their treatment--before or after 911--obviously have not taken seriously the plain historical facts. Thomas Jefferson didn't REALLY mean what he wrote; his and the other Framers' views were very narrow, actually, as to what constituted an acceptable "person."

They found the Indians here, and kicked their butts. They dragged Africans here, and kicked their butts. The Chinese came to help build the railroads, and they kicked their butts. They stole Texas and a good chunk of the Southwest from the Mexicans, and they kicked their butts.

The Japanese, like the Arabs, were victims of bellicose circumstances, and they kicked their butts. The Puerto Ricans came to New York, and they kicked their butts. The Cubans avoided a butt-kicking by leaving behind their melanin-laden brethren, whose pre-Castro butts they, themselves, had been accustomed regularly to kick!

I mean, come on folks, if you don't want your butt kicked, the only logical solution is to keep your black ass at home!